I am so sick of jason he blam's me for every problum we have (i admit i start fights sometimes but not all the time) I'm going to take amber and go into a shelter (hopefully i wont change my mind again but i really hate him) I cant even tell him when we are leaving cause then he will punch me (did last time and i had to wait another week before i left but he ended up talking me out of it by saying he will leave well i dont belive him anymore besides the fact that even living here i still cant get rid of his control sorry it took so long to wright the baby has been keeping me busy got to go now cause she is getting fussy hope every one is feeling good today

ok so current time. I have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. Her name is Amber Lynne. She is the love of my life. I am 21 and have wanted kids scents i was 16 (now I'm glad i waited). I'm not happy with my life the way it turned out i wish i had met a nice guy. One who wanted just me who thought i was so beautiful who was there for me even when I'm a pain in the ass. I could go on and on with what i want in a guy but ended up getting an abusive asshole. Jason and i are now going to counseling to try and work out our differences but i honestly don't want it to work. I hate him the way he treats me how he doesn't help with the baby at all. (he cant change a diaper make a bottle give her a bath or even watch her for a few hrs) I have forgotten how to kiss cause he doesn't like kissing. (kissing is everything to me) I just don't want to be with him anymore. Don't get me wrong he provides for us financially he bought me a van with the tax returns but i need more then money we could be flat broke (hell we were) but all i want is love. He calls me selfish but i don't want amber to grow up and end up in a relationship like this. I mean like 3 weeks ago he gave me a black and blue eye (among other things) and i asked him if someone ever did this to amber what would you do (he said) kill them so i told him you know I'm someones daughter 2 i don't deserve to be treated like this. ok well we have counseling tonight so ill get back on tonight or tomorrow and write again. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!