Monday, March 1, 2010

ok so current time. I have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. Her name is Amber Lynne. She is the love of my life. I am 21 and have wanted kids scents i was 16 (now I'm glad i waited). I'm not happy with my life the way it turned out i wish i had met a nice guy. One who wanted just me who thought i was so beautiful who was there for me even when I'm a pain in the ass. I could go on and on with what i want in a guy but ended up getting an abusive asshole. Jason and i are now going to counseling to try and work out our differences but i honestly don't want it to work. I hate him the way he treats me how he doesn't help with the baby at all. (he cant change a diaper make a bottle give her a bath or even watch her for a few hrs) I have forgotten how to kiss cause he doesn't like kissing. (kissing is everything to me) I just don't want to be with him anymore. Don't get me wrong he provides for us financially he bought me a van with the tax returns but i need more then money we could be flat broke (hell we were) but all i want is love. He calls me selfish but i don't want amber to grow up and end up in a relationship like this. I mean like 3 weeks ago he gave me a black and blue eye (among other things) and i asked him if someone ever did this to amber what would you do (he said) kill them so i told him you know I'm someones daughter 2 i don't deserve to be treated like this. ok well we have counseling tonight so ill get back on tonight or tomorrow and write again. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!

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